Frequently Asked Questions - Parent to Parent

Parents share information and answer frequently asked questions about SIDS:

How has a SIDS death changed your parenting style?

We post a Question of the Month to the SIDS List Server Discussion Area and on the SIDS Information Web Site. Responses can be emailed to us at sidsnet1-at-sids-network-dot-org or posted to the SIDS List Server Discussion Area. We will then post the responses to this page of the web site. The responses are opinions and no one person is right or wrong. We do not need to include an individual's name or any other identifying factors unless the author requests to be identified in some way or they want their email address attached.

The question for February 1999 is:

How has a SIDS death changed your parenting style?

Responses are listed below. Please feel free to add a response by e-mailing sidsnet1-at-sids-network-dot-org. Please include the question, your response, and include in the subject line "FAQ - Parent to Parent."

I believe I was always was a good mother. The SIDS death made me a more protective mother. I realized I could no longer take life for granted. I learned to live day to day and enjoy what I have now. There are no guarantees for tomorrow. (3/1/99)

The child I lost was a twin boy (Gino). I still have his brother (Vincent). I find that I tend to spoil the remaining twin a lot and always worry about what I would do if anything ever happened to him. I do not have any other children however would like to have more. My concern is how my son would feel if I were to have another set of twins. I worry that he will feel left out. While it has been 7 years since we lost his brother, I still find myself waking up in the middle of the night to see if Vincent is breathing and usually check on whoever else is in the house.
-- Tabitha Gigli (3/11/99)

At first I refused to let my, then, one year old out of my site for fear that she too would die. Then I relaxed a little. I stress "little". Before I was really strict. Even though she was only one she knew to pick up her toys and help me because I couldn't do everything. Now if she doesn't I really don't say much about it because now I realize how short life really is. (5/3/00)

I am afraid to have anymore children. With my daughter being so healthy when she was born, and then to lose her, I am terrified to have anymore children. What if it happened again?? She was only 7 weeks old, how would I be in the beginning of my new child's life?? Checking on them every 5 minutes, not getting any sleep I don't know!! Whenever I baby sit my nieces and nephews I am constantly checking on them, my siblings tell me I'm the best babysitter they could ask for, they know their kids are in good hands. I know one day I will have more children, but as I said before, I am scared. Also, I recently had a miscarriage so, its been really tough. (1/2/01)