Victoria

by Amy

On August 15 1995, I was 36 weeks pregnant with my first child. I went in for a routine checkup and we heard no heartbeat. So I than went to the hospital for an ultrasound and found out that my baby had died from a placental abruption. I was only 18 at the time and so was my boyfriend. I than got induced and on August 16 at 3:03 in the morning I had the baby girl I always wanted. We named Victoria Lynn. We buried her on August 18. My boyfriend and I started to grow farther apart until we realized that we were going in the wrong direction so we started talking and things got better. Since that day, as I'm sure is true for you too. We have changed so much. I'm 20 now, Matt and I got married on August 16, 1996 on Victoria's 1st Birthday because we believe that she came into our lives to keep us together. On January 24 1997 I had a little boy. He is doing very well. He is almost 5 months old now. I am so glad he is here but sometimes it's hard because he reminds me of what I missed out on with Victoria. For all you who have had recent losses, for what it's worth the pain will never leave it just gets better. Try hard to do as much as you can to remember your little one. I speak at seminars and things like that and for me it's great therapy. Thanks for reading my story. If anyone would like to E-mail me my address is VLB81695@aol.com. I would love to hear from you. Take care of yourselves. Before I end this I am going to leave you with a poem that has helped me a lot.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am the gentle summer rain;
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet geese in circled flight.
I am the bright star that shines
at night.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
i am not there i did not die.

Love,
Amy