Hold onto hope, no matter how hard it gets...
by Victoria Andersen
I am writing this with the desire of bringing hope to anyone who
Date: Sun, 10 Dec 2000
I went through a very rough time after my miscarriage... the self loathing, depression, fear, and self blame that most women who experience miscarriages feel. This site helped me because even if I didn't speak in real time with too many women... I read all the stories, and it gave me some peace of mind to know that there were others who understood the pain I felt, even if we couldn't express it. That peace of mind helped me deal with my friends and family, who although wanted to help, didn't really know how I felt.
A year later, I can never say that I am totally over the miscarriage... and
nor do I want to. I never want to forget the little soul that almost became a
part of my life, no matter how early the miscarriage was. But I want to let
everyone out there who is feeling what I felt, that it will get easier to
remember with love, and not with pain. I know for most, that is easier said than
done, but I promise you all, someday you will find your peace too.
Now, I am happy to say I am 38 weeks pregnant with a little boy and waiting impatiently for the big day to arrive. I remember I spent the first 5 months in a near panic that I would do something wrong. Even now, I still have periodic bouts of paranoia that my doctor always shoots down thankfully, because every moment of this pregnancy has been like clockwork. And I thank the Gods everyday for that.
I will never forget the miscarriage... and this child will never replace the little one I lost... but now I know the meaning of hope. And I hope that everyone of you out there is blessed with the same experience. I wish everyone the peace they deserve, and beg you to please try to grasp onto the same strand of hope and hold onto the future that waits for you.
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