Remembering Baby Nick
by Amy Baker
10 June 1998
I like to remember my nephew Nicholas Baker Atwood on the anniversary of his death by pulling out all my photographs of him, lighting candles and flipping through the pictures. I try to tell people stories about him during the day, and then I take some private moments at the end of it, where I just dwell in his memories and remember the imprint he left on my arms the last time I held him. I also send my sister white tulips, because he was so innocent.
The family celebrates the anniversary of his birthday with a cake, and we spend time where his ashes are buried. We pull out the photo album and talk about him, especially with his younger sister. We don't ever want to stop referring to him just because he's not here.
I also make a point of mentioning him every time someone asks how many children my sister has, or how many nieces and nephews I have. It leads to some awkward moments, but I want to assert his brief presence on earth, even when it's not an anniversary.
Nicholas Baker Atwood
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