All she will know is happiness.......
by Brandy Blalalck
Date: Tue, 3 Aug 1999
My story started June 12, 1999. I had missed my period after sleeping with a good friend of mine. I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I, being only 18, was scared to tell my parents...but I did. I told my mother July 19, 1999. We worked the problems out, and we began planning for this new bouncing baby. I told all of my friend and family, I even quit my job as a manager at a local restaurant so that I wouldn't stress my baby's tiny body out.
July 23, 1999 I woke up around 11AM with cramps and a backache. They started as just annoying...but before long, they felt like cramps I got when I would get my period. I went to the bathroom, only to find I was beginning to bleed heavily. Immediately, I knew what was happening...my baby was being threatened. I told my mother and she called my doctor's nurse to see what to do.
Within 30 minutes I was puking, the cramps felt more like contractions and began getting closer and closer together. I was rushed to the ER. I just remember thinking "God, please let my baby live." The next thing I knew, the doctor said I had just had a miscarriage. My mother, who was with me in the ER, saw the doctor place my baby's tiny body into a specimen cup and send it away to pathology.
That is when my life ended. I realized, I would never see my baby smile, kick his or her feet in the air...I realized I would never even get to lay eyes on my first baby.
It has been a week and a half now since the incident. There hasn't been a day that gone by where I haven't cried my eyes out. I can not go out and be with friends....I am supposed to start college in 2 weeks, I don't think I can even do that. My little Angel is gone...and life for me, doesn't seem like it'll ever be the same.
The only thing that comforts me, is to know God is taking care of my baby....it helps to know that my baby will never know pain, she will never know what's it's like to cry or be sad....all she will know is happiness.......
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