I have read many of the stories published and they have helped me to heal, I hope that my story may help someone who has lost their child.
April 1,1991 I decided to leave my husband not knowing that I was pregnant with our first and only child, I was late but I thought it was because of the stress in our marriage. On May 3, 1991 after not starting my period again I did a home pregnancy test which came out positive, I decided to tell my husband and on May 6,1991 my pregnancy was confirmed. We were both happy, it took me a couple of weeks to get used to the idea of being pregnant because I knew that I couldn't have this baby by myself so on June 1,1991 I moved back in with my husband. Everything was going fine. In July we went on our yearly family vacation with most of my family and on July 3 I started spotting so we went to the local emergency room and they told me I was dehydrated and that is what was causing the spotting so for the remainder of our vacation I stayed inside and drank lots of water and juice, and I thought everything was fine. Three days after we got home I started spotting again so I went to my doctor and he couldn't tell where the blood was coming from but did find out that I was anemic so he put me on an iron supplement and a weeks bed rest. Two weeks later I was in the hospital because the spotting never stopped so they did another sonogram and still they could not tell where the blood was coming from, by this time I was scared and confused, I knew deep down that I was not going to carry this baby to term.
Towards the end of July I felt my baby kick for the first time I was so excited, he kept me up most nights but I didn't mind. I thought now that the baby is moving there is no way I will lose him so we started putting the baby's room together. That as I was to discover later was a bit premature.
On August 5 my water broke and I was back at the hospital they did not have an explanation as to why but all I knew was that my baby was in trouble. My doctor admitted me into the hospital for observation to see if I developed an infection and after an amnio I didn't have an infection, so on August 8th I got to go home with complete bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy in hopes that my water would build itself back.
My mom who had come to Dallas from Austin went back home on August 11 and my grandmother stayed to take care of me. On August 12 my grandmother took my temperature as instructed and it was up to 100 so we knew that an infection was starting to develop and back to the hospital we went. By the time we got to the hospital my temperature was up to 102 and my doctor was not only worried about the baby but he was worried that if the infection continued to spread that they could lose both of us. By this time I could not believe this was happening and I think that is when I started going into shock because I don't remember a whole lot after that. I remember my doctor coming in and telling me that I had a choice of delivering Cesarean or vaginal, the baby had a better chance if I delivered cesarean but I didn't have a very good chance of surviving because by cutting into me at this point could cause the infection to spread, I didn't hear the later and chose a cesarean. My grandmother who was there freaked out and talked the doctor into explaining it to me again and that time I heard him and chose a vaginal delivery. They induced labor at about 7:00pm, I kept refusing an epideral until 9:30 whey my parents got there from Austin. AT 12:00am on August 13,1991 I delivered a 1lb. 6 1/2oz baby boy who was 12" long. Suprising to everyone he was born alive but did not have a very good chance because I was only at 25 weeks gestation. They took him to the nursery while the nurse cleaned me up to see if there was anything that they could do to save my baby, but I knew they couldn't. They brought him back to me and everyone held him and we tried to determine who he looked like all I knew was that I had never felt so much love for another human being in my whole life. He was beautiful but so quiet. I don't remember them taking him away, they say because I was in shock and I don't remember anything else from that night.
I was released from the hospital on August 15 and we buried Cody on August 17,1991.
My marriage was not strong enough to survive but I knew that I was.
I am now remarried and very happy. Every year I seem to handle the loss of Cody a little better. This year was an exception because in March while on my honeymoon we found out I was pregnant but it was an ectopic pregnancy. I still grieve for both of my babies but with the love of Brian I know each year will get easier. I did not lose my tube and there is no scaring so we are going to try again and I pray everyday that my next pregnancy will turn out differently.
I hope my story can help someone who has lost their child heal as other family's stories have helped me. God Bless.
Now you can translate SIDS Network Web Site pages to/from English, Spanish, French, German, Italian & Portuguese
©1995-2017, SIDS Network, Inc. <http://sids-network.org>