Our first Baby

by Cynthia Chapman

7/18/98

It was 1988, got remarried to a man who had no children, he asked me to give him children. So it happened Feb.20, 1989, gave him a son a namesake, William Leo Chapman III. Billy as we called him was in the hospital for a week before getting to come home. I was scared for my baby because he was my second and my first was healthy and this should not be happening. Finally we got to take him home, in my heart I kept thinking something is wrong with this child he did not act right, but the doctors reassured me nothing was wrong. So on May 5, 1989 I woke up to find him, oh how the hurt is still there as if it was yesterday. I tried to save him giving him mouth to mouth but it did not work. I still get tears in my eyes just wishing I could have saved him. After he died, everything felt like a dream that I would soon wake up and would find everyone alright. It has been 9 years. Billy has a brother who is now 6. I still feel at times deep bout of sorrow wishing I could have saved him. I know someday that I will get to see my baby again in Heaven but for now my father and sister are taking care of him for me...