Whether or not your child survived 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1
week, 1 month, 1 whatever, you were your child's mommy and
daddy, grammie and grampa, auntie and uncle, brother or
sister, cousin, friend, or babysitter. You were important!

Please, we all carry enough guilt, I hope that
there's no one feeling like they weren't much of a parent [or
other individual] because of the length of time their child was
or wasn't here. You were [and are] an important factor in the
quality of care your child received while it was alive.

Dark doubts crept in after our Renae died at 5 1/2 months old.
It seemed like it took me forever to whack all the dragons down
to a size I could bear. I thought that maybe if I were a
'better' parent, maybe THEN Renae would have lived. Of course,
that, we hopefully now understand, was a total lie.

My hope is that each of us realize that we did the best that we
knew to do for our child. My heart is that no one goes through
today hurting because they "weren't much use" to the S.I.D.S.
child in their life. Our children may be gone, but in here, they
live through the telling and retelling of the preciousness that
they brought to our lives.
We help each other go on and work toward making people more
aware of the risks of SIDS happening to anyone anywhere. Every
time we share 'our story' with someone, we've held their ear for
a few moments and that person is more aware [hopefully] about
the risks of this happening, as well as a somewhat clearer
understanding of what they and how it affects grieving family
and friends. What to say and how to best be a help to those that
are hurting.
Don't beat yourselves today! You are/were a good caregiver to
your child, no matter what the dark voices you hear say. You did
your best! That's ALL that matters!

Sandy

SColby@jlc.net

Snail Mail:

Sandy Colby
23 McElwain St. #1
Merrimack, NH 03054