About My Loss

by Nicole J Creecy

Date: Mon, 15 Mar 1999

My name is Nicole. I had my first miscarriage on Feb 21 99. I found out I was pregnant on 18 and I was so excited. I called up everyone and told them the news and told my boyfriend and he was so happy that he took me out for dinner and bought some baby stuff. Everyone was so happy. Then on Feb 21 I started to have a little bit of cramping. Since it was my first pregnancy I asked if it was normal and everyone said that it might be because of low potassium in my legs so I just ignored it. But they got worse and worse at that time I was getting nervous. When I went to the bathroom I started bleeding. I went to the hospital and they did a pelvic exam, urine and blood test but they didn't see anything unusual so they sent me home and said that if I clot or flow heavier then to come in ASAP. 2 hours later I was back and they did the same test on me they also rechecked my HCG level again. I was so nervous. My worst nightmare had come true I was losing the baby they said my HCG level was dangerously low but just to make sure they wanted me to come in for an ultra sound.

The next day I went in for the ultra sound and they took pictures and when they got the pictures back they said I had definitely lost the baby. It was the worst day of my life. Some people had told me not to be upset because it really wasn't a baby yet. What do they know? Even though it was only 6 weeks old it was still my baby. I have wondered since then if it would've been a boy or a girl and I become sad but then I realize that I am still young and I still have many years to try again. Even though I am scared that I will miscarry again but it won't hurt to try and I really shouldn't worry about it until it happens but I will always have that fear. I just thought I would write and tell you my story. I hope it will help some others that have gone threw what I have gone threw. Please tell them that there is still hope and not to look on the bad side of things it will just make matters worse. I hope this helps.

Nicole J Creecy

P.s. send everyone my best wishes on recovering from this ordeal