"Missing Boo"

by Jo Gail Dolenski

Spring, Texas - My grandson, Jonathan, (Boo) lived with us and died of SIDS January 2, 1997, 3 days before his first birthday. I have been doing some writing and would like to share if anyone would like to share as this horrible loneliness is so painful. One of the poems directly related:

"Missing Boo"

By Jo Gail Dolenski
3-17-97

I went to sleep again last night
Missing you as always I do...
Your playful smile and tiny hands
Those eyes, so big and blue.

Though yesterday was a better day
Than those I had left behind
Leaning on will to get me through
As a cane for a man so blind.

Awakening today to work to go
Feeling depressed and low...
Crying as I drive to work
Missing my little Boo so.

I plan to miss you all my life
Forever your Nanna to be.
Why, I missed you so today,
The life went out of me!

Angry again at losing you
To the killer of babies so small.
Wondering again at how there is no sense
Feeling so helpless and small.

Yet, seeing your face look back at me
With that wonderful smile so fair...
Takes me back to better days
When with us you were there.

It has not been so long ago
That this world you did depart.
Taking the future and the past
Our dreams, our goals, our heart...

I do not believe I missed you less
Yesterday than before.
Today I just remembered again
That I'll always miss you more.

For now the times are coming due
When you would have been here to share
The flower blooms, the grass so tall
And I long to have you there.

I see the little ones at play
My selfishness to hide....
Why can't you also be there too
Laughing by my side?

You just will not, I tell myself
It was not meant to be...
Not God's will or master plan
For He does oversee...

It does not make me miss you less
Nor my heartbreak less severe...
Though I must remember how lucky we were
To even have you here!

For I could not have loved you more
Than then or now, my sweet.
I will hold a special place in my soul
For us once again to meet.

I will try again tomorrow
The day to make it through....
Yet everyday will be one more
Of merely missing Boo....