Silent Cries

by Sheila Henderson

Date: Wed, 13 Jan 1999

It's been 5 months since I lost my first and probably only twin sons. I have had several miscarriages never carrying for more than 13 weeks we were very excited that here I was at 26.5 weeks and everything seemed to be going along fine. I went to the doctor for a normal visit the week prior listened to the heartbeat and started making plans for Lamaze. That weekend the babies didn't seem to be moving around very much and by Sunday night I was in a full-blown panic. I had called the doctor's office a couple of times and told her they weren't moving very much. She didn't seem concerned. She said it was normal and to call her again if I had anymore questions. Sunday afternoon I didn't feel them move at all. By Sunday night I was positive something was wrong and when I called her to tell her they hadn't moved for hours my water broke. By the time I got to the hospital I was in full-blown labor and delivered within the hour. There they were two beautiful little boys stillborn.

It's taken me 5 months to be able to tell everyone my story without going through a box of Kleenex. I know it is a tough battle to face. One that no parent should ever have to face. I loved my children and I wish they were here. This Christmas was the toughest part so far. Buying presents for my nieces and nephews and knowing I should be taking care of my sons and getting pictures with Santa. Instead the only pictures I will ever have of my angels are of them before I ever held them or listened to their cries. This page has helped me make it this past 5 months and several people I contacted kept in touch to see how I was doing and I am extremely grateful. If anyone would like a person that understands to talk to I am here maybe we can get through this together.

E-mail me at tazdevil11@prodigy.net.   God bless.