My Heartbreak

by Jennifer

February 18, 1999

I have experienced 2 pregnancies that did not make it past 8 weeks. May of 1998 I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I have been trying since August of the previous year. We have 6 year old son, so we thought it would be no problem. When we found out I was pregnant, we were sooo happy. We waited till Father's Day to tell everyone, because I had been spotting throughout. Went to my Dr visits and all was fine. My Dr decided to have an ultrasound to find my actual due date. My son and husband came for the exciting news, but to our dismay they told me that I must have miscarried. There wasn't anything in the uterus. We were devastated. I just wasn't happy with the Dr.'s results. So I went back to my original Dr that I had with my son. There I was given another ultrasound, because my hormones were still very high. He found that I had a tubular pregnancy. Again we were shocked. To make a long story short, we were able to start trying again in August.

Finally, in January '99 I found out I was pregnant again. This time we were going to be sure everything was all right. At 5 weeks he did an ultrasound and everything looked great. The placenta and the sac were in the right place. My husband and I could finally breathe. After that appt. we decided to tell people, because everything looked so good. Not thinking that we would have such another heartbreak! At 8 weeks I had another ultrasound to make sure we were fine. (I had no bleeding or cramping) The Dr told us that the embryo had not developed. All I could do is cry. The Dr said we could have a D & C done or I could let my body do it naturally. After thinking long and hard, I decided to have the D & C done. I had it done on Monday, Feb. 15, 1999. This week has been pure hell!!! I am a kindergarten teacher and needed to get back to work right away. So I went back to work on Tues. I think it was good for me to get back in the swing of things. Although not a minute goes by without me thinking about what I lost. It is comforting to know that other people have went through the same things as me. I know that I am not the only one. My family has been very supportive. People have been telling me that it was for the best, But IT STILL HURTS!!!!

For all of you who are hurting as much as me, I pray for you! I would like to hear your stories and any suggestions to help mend my aching heart. My email address is scottjen@mwt.net 

Jennifer from Wisconsin