What is there to be Thankful for?
Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000
I have been reading the stories on this site and I wanted to add my own. I am
27 years old, been married for 7 years, have a 7 year old son, and I should be
12 weeks pregnant this week. Let me start at the beginning.
I had my first baby when I was 19 years old. To avoid having to move away
with his parents, my boyfriend and I got married 4 months later. Needless to say
neither one of us was ready for the trials of marriage and new parenthood.
Somehow we made it to 7 years! (By the grace of God I think!) Our marriage has
been rocky from the start, and my son has been effected by it. He can be quite
difficult to handle at times, but he really is a great kid. From the time he was
born, I had female problems, like going 18 months without a period, and gaining
weight at an incredible rate! I never, in all those years, had one time when I
thought I was pregnant. Then, at the end of August, one night out of the blue,
my son prayed for a baby brother (not a sister, mind you;-). I was really
surprised because he hadn't said much about it before. I kind of smiled a bit
and blew it off. Miraculously, by coincidence?, 3 weeks later I found out I was
pregnant. My husband and I were in shock!. Because of my hormone imbalances and
infrequent periods, we never expected to get pregnant again. We were so excited
we told EVERYBODY. Both sets of parents, 6 sisters between us, everyone at
church, his work, my school. We never expected anything to go wrong, my first
had been a textbook pregnancy, and all of the women in my family have very
strong, healthy pregnancies-no miscarriages at all.
I went on September 27 to my first appointment, and the Dr. asked for some blood work
to check my hcg and progesterone levels.
I got home, somehow, and told my family what had happened. My son didn't
really understand everything, because I wasn't that far along, so it wasn't
really real for him yet (he's only 7!). But what my husband and I felt is
indescribable. We held on to each other for 4 days, literally. I had a d&c
the next day, October 24th. Physically speaking, it was all very painless and
gentle almost considering some of the stories I have read here tonight. God has
been very gracious to us during this time because I didn't pass the baby and
have to see that, the professionals I dealt with were extremely kind and caring
towards me, my family and friends have been very supportive and loving. This is
actually the first time I have even been able to talk about God at all since I
lost the baby.
Thanksgiving Day it will be one month since our baby left us. I wake up
thinking about him/her (NEVER "it"), and the "memory" of
him/her is always right there, behind everything I do, and I go to sleep
thinking about the baby, every night, usually with tears.
So this Thanksgiving I will give thanks for my children- the first one who
taught me how to think of others before myself, and the second one who taught me
to appreciate everything and everyone in my life, everyday.
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