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My Story

by Kathy

January 23, 1997

My husband and I were married in July 1995. We were both 26 years old and were both very secure in our life together. In September 1995 I stopped taking birth control pills and figured we could start trying to have a baby in 1996. The first month we tried (January 9 was my last period), we were very excited to find I was pregnant. I had my pregnancy confirmed on February 9. When we first found out, we though maybe we should wait before telling anyone, but we were too excited to contain ourselves. For the next two days we told just about everyone.

On February 14, 1996 I started having severe back pains. Because of my insurance, my referral to the OB had not been processed yet so I had to go to my primary care physician office. My regular doctor was not in that day, so I saw a visiting doctor. He checked my cervix and said everything was still intact. I was sent for an ultrasound. The had scheduling troubles, so I wasn't able to get the ultrasound done for three days. By the time I had the ultrasound done, the back pain had gone away so I figured it was unrelated to the pregnancy. The tech doing the ultrasound said it was probably too early to detect a heartbeat. She did say it appeared to be attached in a good location. We went home feeling that everything was OK and we started getting excited about a new baby. We ordered wallpaper and started reorganizing furniture in our 'baby room'.

On February 24, my husband and I were feeling very romantic and had intercourse. Afterwards, I noticed some spotting. I was panicked. It was late on a Saturday night and we didn't know what to do. We went to the ER where they did another ultrasound. This time the tech did not say anything to me and when I asked questions, she wouldn't give me an answer. The doctors kept asking me if I was sure of my last period. By the time they sent us home, we were given no answers and were told I had a threatened miscarriage. I was told to call my doctor Monday morning. The next day I told my husband I felt empty. Everyone told me if I would just relax everything would be OK. I knew different.

When I went to my OB, he did a blood count and said we would do another one in two days to see if the count was climbing the way it should. After the second test came back, I talked to the doctor and he said the number went up, but not as much as it should have. I asked what that meant, and he said we would have to wait until 12 weeks to try and find a heartbeat. For the next month I had spotting on and off. On March 24 (11 weeks) I woke up with bad cramps and heavier spotting than normal. I went to the OB office and he did an ultrasound right there. He showed me the screen and saw the sac had caved in and was deteriorating. He told me I needed a D&C so that I wouldn't start hemorrhaging. We scheduled it for that afternoon.

I was kind of in shock. I went home to make some phone calls. I called my mother first and she came from work to take my to the hospital. My husband had just started a new job the week before and I told him to just stay at work since my mother was coming to take me. Looking back I should have had him take me. During the week after the D&C, I slowly came out of my shock and the pain of the loss hit me. My OB told me to wait 3 months before we try again. I was told that miscarriage is very common and there should be no reason for me to not have a normal pregnancy. I knew something was wrong with me.

After 3 months we started to try. Almost every month I was sure I was pregnant. I had all the symptoms I had before and after being a week late I would test and either get a negative or a very faint positive. Usually, my period would start after about 5 or 6 weeks. On the months that I was sure I was pregnant, the same back pain would start the day before my period. After a few months, I decided to see my doctor. He said that I may have just been ovulating at strange times, so he prescribed clomid. I had actually been pregnant when I saw the doctor and had it confirmed the next week. The day I had it confirmed, I lost it. My OB said to start taking the Clomid and to try again. I got pregnant that month. I went to the doctor at 4 weeks for him to watch me closely. He did a blood test at 4 weeks and then one at 5 weeks. The counts dropped. I was crushed. It was early December and I had thought we would be celebrating at Christmas. A few days later my period started.

I am now working with a fertility specialist to try and find what is wrong. It has only been a year since all this started and I am hoping 1997 brings me and my husband a healthy pregnancy.

Kathy January, 1997

If anyone wants to write to me directly, my email address is

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