Misty

by Kim

March 3, 1997

Here is my story. I hope that it helps someone out there.

My name is Kim and I had my first daughter on 2-14-85 all went well and she is a very bright, well mannered young lady of 12. My second pregnancy came as kind of a surprise to both my husband and I. Our marriage was going down hill but no decisions had been made to terminate the relationship. I had heard about sibling rivalry so I told my daughter as soon as I found out that she was going to have a brother or a sister. When my second daughter was born 2-19-87 Desire' said it was her baby. Misty was a little over 6 pounds when she was born. I worked different hours because I was a manager of a fast food restaurant. I fed Misty her last bottle and told my husband that we needed to get new bottles because I thought she was taking in to much air. I was then called into work because an error had been made and I needed to fix it. I came home at 2:00 a.m. I was scheduled to go back at 7:30. I woke up late so I called my friend who was going to take me to work. I then went to the bassinet. I don't know why I went their first because I would always get Desire' up first and together we would feed Misty and the other stuff. When I got to the bassinet I picked her up and she was blue in the mouth. I tried to do mouth to mouth while I was on the phone with 911. They came quick. They took her into the ambulance while I got Desire'. We got into the ambulance and then they came around to the side and told us their was nothing they could do. I knew nothing about SIDS at the time even though some women had been talking about it in the hospital when I had her. You see I had always been taught that there was an answer for everything yet I was faced with something that took the life of my young daughter that nobody had any answers for. You see after I had her I had my tubes tied because I couldn't go through another pregnancy with my husband yelling at me. We also were not good house keepers at the time. (Our house was filthy) and we both smoked. I guess she didn't stand a chance. Since then I have divorced my husband, I am remarried , and in April I had a tubal reversal so that we could try to have more children. Losing Misty made me grow up and realize all the things that contributed or could have to her death. I thought I had never heard her and she had been crying and couldn't hold her head up anymore and suffocated. The day we buried her I swore that I would never live like that again nor would I raise my other daughter in such a mess. I would be a great spokes person for young women thinking of getting their tubes tied. You see the insurance will cover to tie them but not to untie them. I still miss my daughter very much and I wonder when I get pregnant again if I will be too paranoid. One thing I will not worry about is weather I contributed to it, if it were to happen again. Our house is neat and my husband and I don't smoke. I don't take anything for granted anymore. Thank you for listening to this long story. I hope someday I can help.

Kim