We will never forget our little lost angel

by Kristy

Date: Tue, 23 Feb 1999

Today is February 23, 1999. I lost my baby on Feb. 11 this year. I was 9 weeks pregnant. This was my second miscarriage. And it had to be finished by a D & C. From what the doctor told me it was a blighted ovum. This all started in December actually, my husband and I got married on Dec. 19, 1998 after having lived together for a little over a year. We knew all along that we wanted to have babies :) I have a 5 year old son from a previous marriage, he is my light!! We went off birth control in November, knowing we were getting married and wanting to start trying. Well after we got home from getting married and spending almost 2 weeks with my family for the holidays we did a pregnancy test and sure enough it was positive :) When I was about 7 weeks along I started having a severe pain in my left side. We went to the ER and had blood tests and a sonogram done. The sonogram showed that I had a cyst on my ovary burst. The cysts are entirely normal I found out, they help the placenta until it can function on it's own. Anyhow while they were doing the ultrasound the looked to see if my baby was developing normally or not. Well the doc couldn't see a baby at all. The placenta was there and well developed and blood was flowing across my uterus just like it should be. My cervix was completely closed. The doc told me not to worry that it might just be to early to see anything yet. She told me I was at the border for being able to see anything yet. To be safe they told me to come back in two days to have my HCG levels tested to make sure they were rising. So of course I went and had the second blood test done. It was on a Saturday so I had to sit through the whole weekend to find out my results.

The doctor called me on Tuesday with bad news, my HCG levels were going down not up. She then asked me to come in for yet another blood test to determine if perhaps the lab had goofed up. The next blood test showed a small rise but not anywhere near where it should have been. So we went ahead with the second ultrasound, and saw nothing. I was 8 weeks pregnant and there was no baby, no heartbeat, just an empty placenta. My wonderful husband was by my side for the whole process. We decided to go ahead and have a D & C done the next day and not wait several more weeks of more blood tests and agony. Unfortunately the doc who did the D & C had no bedside manner and it made a bad situation even worse for me. My family has been wonderfully supportive and helpful. My sister is also expecting, she is due in July and I am truly happy for her. My husband and I will be trying again soon, but will never forget our little lost angel. We are giving him/her both the names we had chosen and will choose new names for the next one :) So to Meghan Paige or Colin Wright, we love you and will always remember you.

Thank you all so much for being here.

Kristy