My Little Pooh Bear
by Maria Riera
Date: Thu, 17 Dec 1998
When I found out I was pregnant my life seemed to finally have some kind of meaning and purpose. I always thought I had what it took to be a great mother. At my fifth month of pregnancy I discovered that I was going to have a baby boy with ten fingers and ten toes. Cesar Manuel Riera was born August 26, 1998. He weighed 9pounds and measured 21 inches. He was so big and round with so much black hair. At two months he was wearing clothes for 3-6 month babies. He smiled and laughed constantly and everyone who met him fell in love with him. We had a few NORMAL scares, fevers and a cold, but he recovered fully and returned to his happy self.
I dropped him off at daycare Monday morning and at 10 am received a phone call from the owner telling me to run to the emergency room because he had stopped breathing. I couldn't believe it. He was HEALTHY! He had laughed and played with me that morning. My life was over. I always thought that it would be the other way around, he would bury me.
My feelings of frustration, anger, depression, and betrayal haven't gone away. I can't believe that nobody can give me a CLEAR answer as to why he died. But even if I knew it wouldn't bring him back and the pain I feel will continue for as long as I live.
If you would have only met him you would have fallen in love with my little Pooh Bear.
Cesar Manuel Riera
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