Kyla Nicole

by Tanya Miller

Date: Mon, 10 Jan 2000

I visited your web site today and became overwhelmed by the number of stories just like mine that I stumbled upon. All this time feeling like I was in this world alone. January 29, 2000 would have marked the second birthday of Kyla Nicole. I have a perfectly healthy baby growing inside me then for no reason other than God, my placenta separated from my uterus and ruptured leaving my precious angel without oxygen.

She was born two weeks before my due date. She died the night before I went into labor. I have felt like no one else cared about her, not even her father. I have felt like no one else understood how I was feeling and sometimes still feel. I felt like the world was on my shoulders.

I laid in the hospital on the maternity floor listening to all of those babies crying. I was never made unaware that my baby was in the morgue. The crying babies reminded me all night long. I left that hospital two days later with my arms so empty they ached, my breasts full of milk and a full nursery decorated for my angel's homecoming. I thought that my breath would stop as well. I had a 1-year old at home that needed me but I did not care and for that I later felt guilty.

I have leapt many hurdles to get to where I am today. It is still hard as her birthday nears but I pray and concentrate on my now 3-year old and I come out okay. I wish the best to all those reading this and I hope this helps you to know that you too are not alone.