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I don't know if I could handle #4

By Crystal Murray

Date: Wed, 9 Jun 1999

My name is Crystal. I am 21 years old and have been married since December 14,1997. I have read every story on this page and with every story I shed tears of grief for both you all's loss and yet my own. Me and my husband decided actually 1 year before we got married that after we got married we wanted to have children. But after the wedding that just didn't happen. Yes we got married but I conceived several months before the wedding. To make this a somewhat short story, I lost that child at 6 weeks. Well as it turned out less than7 months later I found out again that I was pregnant. I was soooo happy yet so scared at the same time. I went to my OB/GYN and everything appeared to be normal. Well I got tired of waiting to see my doctor for hours and hours that I changed to a different Doctor. Where on the first visit I was told by him that I had lost the baby, and that it appeared that the baby died at about 6 weeks.

I couldn't understand it. The baby died at 6 weeks. At that time I had carried the baby for over 4 months. At no time did I ever have any cramping/bleeding. I had none of the signs for a miscarriage. I was then scheduled for a D&C. So a few days later I was having that done. Well after that it was one year before I got pregnant again. I thought to myself for sure GOD wouldn't put me through this again.

But sure enough this last January of 1999 I had my 3rd miscarriage. Well I still didn't understand. How I could lose it and not have any sign or symptoms. To this day I still don't know. I do know that it is 06/09/99 and I am once again pregnant, about 5 weeks along. To be honest I am more scared now than I have ever been about anything. I just don't know if I could handle the loss of a 4th child in less than 3 years.

For those of you who believe in God and miracles. Please keep me in your prayers, and I will keep you all in mine thanks Crystal. Please feel free to e-mail me with encouragement and or understanding.
crissy12@airmail.net 

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