Getting a sibling through a sids death

by Nolan97@aol.com

21 July 1998

My son died of SIDS on November 27, 1997 (Thanksgiving day), he was 10 weeks old and my other children were 5, 3, and 2. I found that letting them talk freely about their brother Nolan, even though it was very difficult for me to hear, after all I was in so much pain, really helped them cope with their loss. Parents mustn't forget that the siblings also have to work through their own grief and at their own pace. It's been almost eight months since we lost Nolan, and my children still cry as do I, but they also can laugh about our ten weeks with him. I try to tell them to try to remember him when he was smiling and playing with them and to share their memories with each other. Our home is filled with pictures of the four of them together and each of my children have a picture of him in their room (they requested it). It's been a rough road for all of us, but I feel each of us has made peace with our loss. There have even been requests for another sibling. The main thing I have to tell other parents who have to endure this tragedy is that you can get through this. I came to a realization not to long ago, I have to stop being bitter for what I don't have and start being grateful for what I do have, and that is three beautiful healthy children and the wonderful 10 weeks I had with my son Nolan.