It's been 9 years today...

by Molly Madison
mother of Ryan Joseph Potts
9/22/89-12/18/89
mmadison@earthlink.net

Date: Sat, 19 Dec 1998

It was nine years ago today. The call at work...the ambulance...the doctor telling me "he's gone"...his cold skin...telling people...trying to understand...the funeral...still had to try and make Christmas happy for the boys who were then 3 yrs. and 5 yrs.... I miss my baby still. Just think, he'd be 9 YEARS OLD. I bet he'd look just like his brother Kyle. He had that blonde hair like Kyle. It is still hard. I have learned to go on, but I'll never forget. I can't enjoy Christmas. I probably never will again. Christmas songs make me cry, especially when I'm alone. Here's a happy note, though. I have had two children since Ryan died. My son, Aaron turned 3 on September 20. My daughter, Amber, turned 1 YESTERDAY! My two little miracles have helped me so much. I am so thankful for them. I extend my sympathy to all who have lost children. It is truly devastating and changes your life forever. If only the people around us could be more in tune to what we're going through. No words at all would be better than some of the things people have said to me. I still can't believe the priest in the emergency room told us "You can always have another baby". I should have knocked him out right then!!! And the people who said "Well, at least you still have Kyle and Justin"... wake up, there will never be another Ryan. Thanks for listening.