Help ensure that the Global Internet services
of the SIDS Network continue to grow!

Donate directly to the SIDS Network securely with a major credit card.

Other ways to help can be found here.

Guilt vs. Regret

by Christy Prough

We have something in common. Abby was also at the sitters, and she died on her stomach. That really bothered me for a long time until I began hearing of all the infants that have died on their backs, being held, in a carseat, etc. I felt that I didn't do all that I should have by not "forcing" my sitter to put Abby on her side to sleep, and I truly believed for a short while that I was to blame for her death because of that (I still think my sister believes that's why Abby died). Now I know that there are no guarantees - no matter how "right" you do things, babies still die of SIDS. As long as you know in your heart that you nor your sitter did anything intentional to harm your child, you have to let it go someday. I still wonder about it, but I don't blame myself anymore.

Our support group facilitator really helped me with one thing - I have to share it. What is the difference between "guilt" and "regret"?

Guilt is when you have intentionally done something that you know is wrong and feel "guilty" for it- ex: you steal a candy bar and get caught - your "guilty".

Regret is when you KNOW that you didn't do anything intentional but WISH it could have been different.

Based on the above, is anyone here "guilty" of causing the death of their child? I don't think so. We all have regrets, but we shouldn't have guilt.

Help ensure that the Global Internet services
of the SIDS Network continue to grow!

Donate directly to the SIDS Network securely with a major credit card.

Other ways to help can be found here.

new.gif (112 bytes) Now you can translate SIDS Network Web Site pages to/from English, Spanish, French, German, Italian & Portuguese

1995-2017, SIDS Network, Inc. <http://sids-network.org>
All rights reserved. Permission to use, copy, and distribute this document, in whole or in part, for non-commercial use and without fee,
is hereby granted, provided that this copyright, permission notice, and appropriate credit to the SIDS Network, Inc. be included in all copies.

The opinions and information provided here are not necessarily those of the author and are presented for educational purposes only.
The author accepts no responsibility for content, accuracy or use.

Privacy Policy

Please report any web site problems to sidsnet1-at-sids-network-dot-org
Web Design and maintenance by
CAM Consulting