Guilt vs. Regret
by Christy Prough
We have something in common. Abby was also at the sitters, and she died on her stomach.
That really bothered me for a long time until I began hearing of all the infants that have
died on their backs, being held, in a carseat, etc. I felt that I didn't do all that I
should have by not "forcing" my sitter to put Abby on her side to sleep, and I
truly believed for a short while that I was to blame for her death because of that (I
still think my sister believes that's why Abby died). Now I know that there are no
guarantees - no matter how "right" you do things, babies still die of SIDS. As
long as you know in your heart that you nor your sitter did anything intentional to harm
your child, you have to let it go someday. I still wonder about it, but I don't blame
Our support group facilitator really helped me with one thing - I have to share it.
What is the difference between "guilt" and "regret"?
Guilt is when you have intentionally done something that you know is wrong and feel
"guilty" for it- ex: you steal a candy bar and get caught - your
Regret is when you KNOW that you didn't do anything intentional but WISH it could have
Based on the above, is anyone here "guilty" of causing the death of their
child? I don't think so. We all have regrets, but we shouldn't have guilt.