by Christie Pruitt
Date: Mon, 18 Oct 1999
Although the stories I have read on your site seem so much worse than mine, I have a story of my own. In August of this year, I discovered I was pregnant. My husband and I are still newlyweds and this pregnancy was a surprise. I had some cramping early in the pregnancy and that didn't seem right to me. I had a feeling that something was wrong, but I kept pushing it aside. Six days after my positive pregnancy test, I began to spot. I went to the doctor and had a blood test taken. They also examined me and told me my cervix was slightly open. That was bad news. I went home, talking to my baby all the way there, rubbing my hand along my stomach and praying. When the doctor called, it was just as I had suspected. My HCG levels had dropped and I was in the beginning stages of a miscarriage.
I'm 29 years old and I feel that time is slipping by. I'll be 30 in April and the urgency to have a child is upon me. I have been completely obsessed almost with becoming pregnant again. I went out and bought an ovulation predictor kit right after the miscarriage, because I felt so helpless, like there was nothing I could do while I waited for my cycles to become normal again.
My cycles are normal and we are trying again, but the fear of miscarriage still keeps me awake at night. I am keeping my fingers crossed. And doing a lot of praying.
Thank you for letting me express this. Talking about it is still hard and I doubt that this hole in my heart will ever heal, but talking does help. Thanks.
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