We needed to accept what is real
In Memory of my Son, Nathan Russell Gagneau
July 27, 1994 - October 9, 1994
I miss you still today, yet my thoughts and memories are not as painful as in
the beginning. My beautiful son, please guide the children who have recently
joined you. Help them to watch over their loved ones left behind and ease their
pain. When Mommy reads their messages here, it brings tears to my eyes, I
remember their pain so well. It has taken a long time for me to heal, for the
most part I did it on my own. I know I could not have come out of my depression
without believing you were guiding me.
Date: Wed, 15 Sep
You are pregnant we are told,
A new baby we can't wait to hold.
We spend months with our heads full of dreams, Boy or girl, all the firsts, cake
and ice cream...
We get sick, our bodies change,
Next a kick, here comes the pain...
We spend hours trying to breath,
Begging someone to give us relief.
We are handed our new child,
A baby so sweet, calm and mild.
We now know what it means,
to truly love another human being.
We change diapers and give baths,
Smiles and coos we are given back.
We now need to learn to share,
Daddies need time too, it is only fair.
We are now a complete family,
Living together so happily.
With SIDS there is no warning,
Just plain shock, grief and mourning.
We spend hours with our heads full of fear, Call our families, neighbors
watching, wanting to disappear...
We plan a funeral, our tears flow
Next a burial, where do we go...
We spend months trying to deal
Begging someone to help us heal.
We shed tears at our child's grave,
Birthdays, Anniversaries, trying to be brave.
We know now what it means,
To truly miss another human being.
We bring flowers, gifts and toys,
A Pure and Perfect Angel will help us find joy.
We needed to accept what is real,
Everyone has their own and separate way to deal.
We are no longer a complete family,
Our family now lives separately but somehow happily.