for Samantha Grace, who was stillborn on Feb. 22, 1996
I believe having a child is a miracle. My husband and I started trying for a baby in early 1994. Well, to make a long story shorter, we ended up with a fertility specialist, and after having had a laproscope surgery and three months of clomid therapy, and with having only one good tube, due to the fact my other tube had a cyst in it, we were finally pregnant in July 1995. It was actually a big shock to us. We had stopped clomid therapy in April 95', and we were going to try pergonal therapy after I had a major abdominal surgery, in September, to remove the cyst from my fallopian tube. Well, like I said I found out I was pregnant on July 11th, and at that time I was already 10 weeks along. WOW!
I had to go see my specialist two more times to make sure everything was fine, and it was. The baby's heartbeat was amazing to view on the monitor. My doctor released me back to my local OB, and everything after that was also going perfect. Every check-up I had was perfect. I had another ultrasound done in October, and the baby had grown so much. They said most likely it was a girl. We were so thrilled. The holidays went by, and then I had another ultrasound in January 96'. My due date was Feb. 20th. The ultrasound went great, and this time they knew it was a girl, and she weighed approx. 4lbs. We could not wait for our sweet little girl to be born.
February approached quickly, and my due date was not to far away. On Feb. 16th, at a routine doctor visit, my doctor wanted an ultrasound. At first I was a little scared, but he reassured me he just wanted to verify the position of the baby. Well, the ultrasound showed a perfect baby, in the right presentation(head down) and she was estimated at over 8 lbs. I couldn't believe it! We were really going to have a perfectly healthy baby.
Over the weekend, after that Friday's checkup, I really didn't feel a lot of movement from Samantha. That was the name we had chosen. Samantha after my Grandpa Samuel, and Grace after my Grandmother and Great Grandmother. Well, Monday finally came, Feb. 19th, and at my checkup everything seemed just perfect. After that I just assumed little movement was normal, since she had dropped down a little, getting ready to be born.
My next appointment wasn't until Thursday, February 22, 1996. I thought it was a little cruel to just let my due date pass by like that, but I know that nature has to take it's course. Over the two days prior to my appointment, I still felt little or no movement. I was so ready to have Samantha. I could not wait to be a mom.
That Thursday, Feb. 22, at my appointment, it took the nurse a while to find the heartbeat. She finally did, but now I believe it was my heartbeat, or the placenta beating. My doctor did his usual, then he suggested we go to the hospital for a non-stress test. We went over directly from his office and got admitted. Once I was undressed and ready, i called my mom, who works at the hospital's home care as a R.N., and she came right over. At that point I didn't think there was much to be alarmed about. The nurse came in and put the belt around my belly to measure any contractions I may be having, and then tried to find the heartbeat. She tried for a good while, but she could not find it. My doctor ordered a stat ultrasound to be done, which took nearly 45 minutes! This was the only part of everything that upset me. The time it took to get that ultrasound done. The nurses had told me I may have to have a C-Section done, and I said fine. My doctor was there for the ultrasound and told me he wanted to do a C-Section right away. They prepared me quickly and got me ready. I knew things did not look good, but I never lost my hope. My doctor was able to get Samantha out on the second try. She was a very big baby. She was 9 lbs. and 23.5 inches long. I was 23 inches long, and I am now 6'2". I had expected a very tall and beautiful daughter. The doctors were able to get her airway open and for a slight second, it sounded as if she had a chance. But her little heart would not start. There was nothing else to do. Our baby had been dead, maybe for just hours but possibly for a day or two. My doctor said the placenta was still beating when he delivered Samantha. Our baby was stillborn. Her umbilical cord was compressed by her body. It was the right side of her face along with her left hand where you could tell the pressure had been. She was the most beautiful baby girl I had ever seen. She had dark black hair like her dad and me. My mom said she had my hands. She had big chubby checks like her daddy. I had hoped for beautiful blue eyes like my husbands, and my mom said she would have had them. She was "OUR MIRACLE". She was so perfect in every way. The hardest part for me was that she was so perfect and so Big and Beautiful. I think that through all of this our marriage has become stronger somehow. I have to say that the hardest thing for me now is all the HURT that everyone has had to suffer. Some days I feel so terrible. I love all my family so much. I thank God for my parents and my wonderful husband. Hopefully one day God will bless us again, with another miracle. I pray for that day, and I pray for everyone else suffering from this kind of loss. The title of my story is OUR MIRACLE. I hope now you can see why. I know my story was very long, my other copy is even longer, but my hope is that if just one person reads it and it helps them, it was worth it. I know it helped me to share it. Thank you.
To Samantha Grace:
I'll love you forever,
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