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Joey's Gift

My sister wrote this for me and for Joey last night. It is religious, but I
really liked it. Thought I would share it, and she gave me permission. Thanks
for all the warm thoughts and the prayers and well wishes.

by Lisa Sculley
mother of Joey 7/16/92 to 10/7/92
Billy 10/14/87
Michael 7/7/89

7/16/98

Joey's Gift

Morning breaks and I find myself thinking of you
Questions roll around in my head
How old would you be?
What would you look like?
Would you be a serious soul or a jovial joe?
And then, I think if you had stayed, where would we be.
Would we still hold life as precious and true as we now do?
Would we still make efforts to stay close and friendly?
Would we still be sensitive to other's grieving needs?
I am thankful.

It amazes me that such a small short life, as yours
Could effect our family so much.
Think of how different we would be if you had stayed.
Yes, it must of been God's plan, though cruel it seemed at the time
God knew we needed breaking and molding.
He knew heartbreak would shake us out of our monotonous path
Of stagnant complicity with worldly values.
He knew that those here before you needed
More kindness
More tenderness
More sharing
More willingness
More openness

Now everyday, those within and around our family
Share your special gift to us
(Though you could not stay and enjoy it with us)
We remember you with every
Kind word
Tender touch
Shared time
Loving sacrifice
Tear shed

Yes, today you would be six.
Seems strange talking so "grown-up" to you.
Somehow I think you understand.
I know you are at perfect peace with our LORD
Therefore, you must know all things
Perhaps that was your crime
Were you to true and innocent for this world of sin?
If yes, I am so thankful you were spared the worldly cares that we must bear.

Yet, when you died you took with you many tears
You also took our old callused ways of dealing with others

This is the unveiling of self in grief.
Oh, many shy away from funerals because of the emotionalness of it all
I, however, now see something sweet and common among those I see grieve.
We can make eye contact for a mere second and convey
"I've been there. With God's help I made it through it and you can, too."
Those who despise loving emotions have either never lost someone of value or
Are consumed with the passion of "hiding" behind so-called "strength"

There is strength is the weakness of death.
For death reveals the strength or lack of strength of those within that family
I have heard it said that participation in athletics "reveals" character,
rather than builds character.
I believe death can be held in the same light.
Death doesn't bring a family together, as much as
It reveals the strength of the ties within that family

Yes, we have built upon that bond since the funeral.
It is stronger than it has ever been.
Yes, our family may not have been as close as it is today,
If you had not left us the way you did,
But, I believe one of your main purposes was to reveal to us in a real sense
That we ARE family.
Not perfect.
Not rich.
Not elegant.
Just family.

How easy it is to forget.
We go through our day-to-day tasks
planning, working, completing, etc.
Where is the peace?
Life is not based on tasks, but on relationships.
Relationships are what uphold us when all the "props" of life fail us

Families are the basis for all relationships
Families are God's gift to us.
He could have made Adam go at it alone;
Yet, he created Eve to be a companion and help.
And Eve, being as she was, needed children to tend to
To help complete her role as helpmeet
God gave us all families as a blessing
Yet, I am in awesome wonder at the fact
That he allowed you to come and give us an extra blessing
The blessing of family renewal

Now, every year around your birthday and the anniversary of your death
I reflect on the dealings with my family
"Am I still tender?"
"Am I still kind?"
"Do I still share time?"
"Do I sacrifice for my family?"
"Can I still shed tears of joy and sorrow with those I love?"
If I pass this test than I know I have honored the gift you gave to us -
The gift of love.

I feel sorry for those who have not faced the mortality of a loved one
They miss the chance to mend and grow
To come together and make love known

Thanks you, Joey for giving love
and bringing us together
May every thought and every act
Be a gift from you to one another
and from the LORD above

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of the SIDS Network continue to grow!

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