I will not forget ...

by Lorraine Shawky

Date: Sat, 6 Feb 1999

I went for my first scan on 4 February (my deceased father's birthday) at 11.00 am and was told that the pregnancy was not on-going but the hospital would wait another week to see if there was a change one way or the other. I was told I could go back to work. At 1.25 PM, I started to miscarry. My boss is female but the office was being shared by two men on this day and I could not say anything without attracting undue and unwelcome attention. I was therefore in the awful position of trying to act as if all was normal when I was flooding all over the place. Eventually, I discreetly wrote my boss a short note and managed to get out of the office as if I was going on some errand. At 4.30 PM I was on my way to the hospital and by 5.30 PM was under observation, the products of conception having been removed.

My first pregnancy at 39 and I have lost my baby. Yes, I will go back to work on Monday, and it will be as if nothing has happened, but I will not forget.