Poems to Share

Today I suffered another loss. My second child has died. She was only eight weeks old and now she is gone until we meet in eternity. Her sister Sierra died at 38 week on December 5, 1996. She was stillborn due to a cord accident.

My E-Mail address is KaraSier@aol.com
My name is Sheri

Please take care of yourselves.

Love, Sheri

Date: Mon, 16 Nov 1998

FLICKER

I draw a big sigh
I know not what to write
All my dreams I thought were true
Are now gone with you

I had waited for so long
To see your tiny heartbeat
There it was upon the screen
What a sigh of relief

I was afraid I had lost you
But finally they found you
Your heartbeat was strong
I was so glad I was wrong

But the bleeding did not stop
It got stronger still
The doctor sent me back
Now things had gotten bleak

Your heartbeat could not be heard
A slight flicker was still there
The doctor said not to give up hope
But the pain and blood won't recede

I hate to give up hope
But things look so grim
I can't believe the ecstasy
Was so very short-lived

I was so very excited
My dreams had really come true
My fourth baby was on its way
How lucky I felt each day

But here we go again
Another baby lost
I truly thought I'd had my share
It was time to be happy again

All the books they say
You have to trust in God
Nothing is in our control
Our only choice is love

I know that it is true
Because I so wanted you
You had all my love my child
Before I even knew you

I just don't understand
Why this must happen again
The birthday of my baby child
Is only days away

Yes, it's been two years
Since I lost Sierra Lynn
To lose another child so soon
Is just too much to comprehend

I was planning a memorial
To celebrate her life
Now I have another grief
To add to my plight

The joy I feel each time I look
At my wonderful girls
Makes the grief and pain much worse
Knowing how much love I had to give

No point in just rambling on
The pain is just too fresh
The words won't come to explain
How much you will be missed

Only six and one half months
A baby I would hold
Now it's hard to see the light
And believe happiness will come my way

I love you tiny one
I can't believe you're gone
Now you're with my daughter and Dad
And I must hope again

I can't give up on life
I have too much to give
But please send me a baby someday
That I can keep for eternity

I love you with all my heart
With my very soul
You know I would die for you
To give you life once

With all my love,
Your Mommy
November 14, 1998

This is the poem I wrote when I found out I was having my wonderful child I just lost today:

ONCE MORE

You're here, you're here
You are finally here
I am so thrilled, incredulous
You have returned to me

You know how much I have missed you
Each day since you've been gone
Now you're back inside of me
The thrill just goes beyond

You know that I will treasure you
With each breath I take
That you have made my life complete
Now you've returned for keeps

I love you my tiny baby child
Whoever you may be
My soul has prayed for you each day
Since you had to leave

I took a chance and tried the test
A faint line I did see
You are my secret for right now
I just want it to be you and me

I want to jump up and down for joy
And scream into the sky
Thank you Lord for this baby child
You've been so grand to me

You know how broken hearted I've been
Even though I've tried so hard
But now I have my baby back
I hope my soul can restore

You are just a tiny speck
Smaller than a grain of rice
The only one that knows of you
Is God and your Mom right now

I want to wait and make a big deal
When I share the news with your Dad
It's Sweetest Day coming up
You will be the best present he ever had

I can hardly believe we are so blessed
Even though I prayed so hard
So many others have such difficulty
Now you are our fourth child

I treasure each one of you
Like you are the one and only
My heart's desire has come true
My love has finally prevailed

I hope you wanted to come back
I know I pleaded since you left
I hope you know how much you are loved
And your life will be the best

Your Dad will be so very pleased
He wanted you very much
Your Aunt Lynda is waiting too
She's been waiting as long as us

Your sisters will be so glad
That you returned to play
Kara says a brother is her choice
I guess we will see in nine months

Heaven really can be here on earth
As that is where I am
To have my baby return to me
I would have died to make happen

Thank you God, the Lord above
For bringing me such great joy
My family is finally complete
My heart can mend once more

I know I will always be sad
For losing you when I did
I will always wonder if you returned
Or sent an angel instead

At least I know that prayers are heard
That God was listening to me
And if I still have to wait
The waiting will be heavenly

It may be years until I know
Or even after I die
But God has not forsaken me
He sent me a child inside

There are no words on this earth
To explain my delight
For being allowed to be your Mom
For the first time, or maybe twice

I love you my tiny one,
Love, Mom
October 13, 1998

Life and emotions can be words apart in just a matter of days.