by Jessica Tate
Date: Fri, 7 Jan 2000
I found this site 3 days after I had my miscarriage and it has taken almost 2 weeks to get the courage to talk about my loss. Here is my story...
For 2 years my husband and I tried to get pregnant, we were active duty military in the Navy and my husband and I were constantly apart due to his sea going command. In Dec of 98 we went to fertility checkups which we found out we were both ok and it was probably the timing off each month. we had till march to try before my husband would leave for 6 months on a Med deployment. but nothing came, and march came and passed and my husband came back on Sept 23. After the reunion of us being back together a baby was back on our mind. then on Nov 8,1999 the day I was scheduled to get out of the Navy I learned I was finally pregnant. I just couldn't believe it. No one could have made me sad that day. No one. We were overjoyed. soon the morning sickness would take over my days and planning for the nursery we had already registered. It was all so wonderful. At my first OB appt everything was great. I had a transvaginal ultrasound and everything measured, but I wasn't at the 6 weeks, I thought but only 4. I thought that was odd but the doc said it was fine. on thanksgiving day I begin to spot pink and brown and I rushed to the emergency room, they said I was a threatened miscarriage and to see my doc on Monday. well I went to the doc and she said everything looked ok. I was relieved. I still was sick and I loved every minute of it. then while on Christmas leave in Virginia to visit my mom I begin to bleed, heavier each day I went the ER and they said I was beginning to miscarry, I didn't believe the doctor so I went to another ER where they told me the same. Then on Dec 26 while back at home in Florida I was asleep and I was awoken by a horrible stomach pain. My husband rushed me to the ER and I begin pouring blood. They didn't see a heartbeat and I needed a D&C. my world crashed that day. I had it done. my baby would be no more.
I am still so upset over the loss of my baby. I cry and pray all the time, they said it was probably a chromosomal defect. but I still long for my baby back. I wonder how will I ever deal with it. The baby I had loved before it could feel love was gone. I want to try again real soon but I am scared to death. well I have taken up enough time, thank you for letting me write. God Bless
to my angel either Dylan Trevor or Kayla Brooke, I think of you every minute and mommy loves you so much. I am so sorry my little one, so sorry.
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