shared by Kevin Wilson
Date: Thu, 20 Jan 2000
Reading all the other people's stories made me cry, but it helps to see you're not alone in this. I'm 25 and we were in the middle of organizing our May wedding when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned but it seemed so right, it didn't matter that I'd look like a bowling ball in a dress going down the aisle. I've always been a career girl, get the degree, climb that ladder and kick some ass. But now it doesn't mean anything anymore. I would've happily given up everything I've fought for for this baby but that's not going to happen now, because I lost it 10 days after we found out it was there. Physically, it didn't feel much different from a heavy period but inside I just feel so empty. Kevin's been really good even though he's felt like crying too. It was very early on, only 6 weeks, but we'd already started planning stuff, like how we'd need to change the house and get car seats and things. my mam's been great, very supportive but she lives so far away. His mum has been worse than useless, telling us that we should have been more careful in the first place etc. I don't think we'll be visiting with her for a while. The wedding doesn't matter any more either. I've been trying to find some silver lining in this cloud and there are some things.
Kevin and I are closer than we were before this happened, and we've become closer to his brother and wife too - they've been so good through all of this. They've been very supportive at work too. I'm going to go back tomorrow, to try and get things back to some kind of normal. I don't think it'll ever be the same though. The leaflet the doctor gave us says many women who have miscarriages go on to have a healthy baby, so fingers crossed it'll be better next time. Best wishes to all of you out there.
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