First Anniversary

by Clay and Kelli Grey

reprinted with permission

Wednesday went a lot better than I thought. My wife and I reread the sermons that were written for Andrew and let some balloons go and then reviewed the sign-in book as well as some condolence cards. I knew I would be feeling sad, but what caught me by surprise, was that we felt that we were saying good-bye to Andrew for the first time and that we knew we would never see him again. At both services and at the funeral and subsequent visits to the cemetery I never felt like that, but this time it was if reality set in. Maybe at the funeral we were still in shock about what had happened, but this time I had a real sense of missing Andrew and that he was gone forever. I know we have our memories, but some times they aren't enough. I thinks letting the balloons go give a person a symbol of the soul rising to heaven that isn't there at a funeral, and it was almost as if when I saw the balloons rise and float away, I was seeing Andrew rising and floating away for the first time. Didn't mean to get to philosophical there-

In" what will Kids say next-" Our daughter Stephanie remarked that we( the family) was feeling sad about Andrew, and I said that yes we did. She than said that when the new baby comes we would be happy again and that we were going to keep this baby forever and ever. I told her that I hoped so.

Return to First Person Page

Return to SIDS NETWORK Table of Contents